painshadows

The tax office (IRS?? Don't really now what it's called in english)


"Born free, taxed to death"

oh... recurring dreams... *smiles* God I hated those when I was younger... I once had one recurring one that haunted me for years. Every month or two I would dream about being on some mountain and the only way down was by ladder *shudders* and the ladders had all different lenghts... and they made no sense....

The best recurring dream I ever had was my subconscious answer to the hotness that is "Dean Winchester" ... enough said ;-)

It's 22:45.
My Stepfather just showed up and told me that my grandmother died 20 minutes ago.
And now I'm sitting here and I feel nothing. My grandmother was a - well I won't speak ill of the dead. Complicated would probably be the most accurate description. We used to be close. She was great to me when I was little. But age made her complicated.

How can I fell nothing?

Where is the grief?

When my best friend died, I started crying as soon as I got the news and I got hit with this unbelievable wave of sorrow. I couldn't breath, couldn't think. It took me days to get myself together again.

And here I sit. 5 minutes after the news reached me. And it's like "Oh well, shit happens, where is the remote".


What the hell is wrong with me. My grandmother is dead. Gone. DEAD.

When was my love for her replaced with this apathy? I feel like a bad scene from Dexter. 

10 Minutes an I am still wondering where the grief is. The news keep circulating in my brain. gone. dead. gone. dead.

I could probably claim to be in shock. But that's not it. I've done shock.

This is me being a horrible, uncaring person.

OMG. That is not really the question of the day?

I look like me. No celebrity. No look a like. Just me. I don't want to look like anyone else.

Geez. Way to further other peoples delusions. *shakes head*

 

Well I had a celebrity encounter in my younger years... I walked through the airport. Stressed about the upcoming flight. There were all these "fangirls" hanging around the gate. And I really didn't have the time because I was stressed. So I pushed my way trough, hurrying along, around the corner...
 
and then I almost ran into a group of guys.
 
I was all "oiiii watch where your walking" they were all "whoops"... So I kept going...

....and going....


Took me about 30 seconds before I realised that I almost run over the Backstreet Boys...

Book one: War and Peace.  Hang on... Island not floating city...

1. Lord of the Rings (the 3 in 1 book), JRR Tolkien
2. Sagen des klassischen Altertums, Gustav Schwab
3. The never ending Story, Michael Ende
4. The memoirs of Kleopatra, Margaret George
5. The Eyre Affair, Jasper Fforde

Why do you keep humping the Teddybear?

Well... a long long time ago in a school filled with angsty and depressed teenagers, there was a girl. The one girl in the whole school to dress according to the angsty and depressed mood....

One day the scary teacher guy introduced us to the wonder that is the INTERNET and made us open an e-mail account.
So the one girl in the whole school who dressed like her mood decided to forego the usual Firstname.Lastname@email.com and chose an email account befitting her mood (Because there is always PAIN in the SHADOWS of death... Yeah it made more sense back then...).
And as this girl doesn't like change much... and everyone that is someone in the life of this girl already had this deppressed Email Addy, she never changed it. Even though her mood has improved a lot since her angsty teenage years....

hmm well, I would like to find a guy who isn't to clingy. I hate it, when I'm dating someone who sends me a text message every 2 minutes just to ask what I'm doing. I hate text messages. Their useless, but apparently now a days they are essential to a good relationship. One boyfriend broke up with me because I didn't answer ALL of his 30 text messages. He thought it was a sign that I didn't love him.

Then there was the boyfriend who excepted me to watch Formula 1 and Soccer and Boxing and Motocross with him. If non of the aforementioned were on, he wanted to go to the airport (3 hour train ride away and cost me a fortune every time) to take pictures of the planes. I asked him once to go to town with me, because I wanted to buy a book. He refused. Apparently the woman is supposed to cook and clean an to take care of HIS financial problems and spend money and time on HIS hobbies. *shudders*

All I really want is a guy that I can spend a quiet evening with. Reading a book together. Watching a movie. Someone who doesn't need reassurance every to minute of my devotion. Someone who loves me the way I am and doesn't except me to dress up like dominatrix Barbie just so he can get his rocks off...

Again with the Coffee...  Not that I'm addicted or anything... Noooo.... I just really like it...

Get up. Drink Coffee.  Shower. Drink coffee. Get dressed. Go to work. Arrive at work. Drink coffee. Start computer. drink coffee. Work. Drink coffee. work some more.

Outfit? Who cares about the outfits???

hmmm.... Tricky question... What to choose

Born free. Taxed to death.

No. Just kidding. I like the one from Lord of the rings best:

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." - Bilbo Baggins

And the Oscar goes to... well... I would say...

Milk


Didn't see the Movie, but going by what I've heard of it... It wins.

Man... it's 3am, I've been up for 20 hours, I'm tired.
But can I go to sleep? Nooo... Because of the *çDç**ç time difference the Oscars are shown in the middle of the night.
Thank god I don't have to go to work tomorrow

When they stop laughing at fart jokes....

Valentine's Day.
The curse of all those who are single (like me).
I love the idea of a day dedicated to couples, but why did it have to be commercialised to the point of pink fluffiness?
This week  walking to work:

- the Bookshop --> Lo and behold the love as shown by way of a window filled with
                                   - self help books (how to get your man in 3 days)
                                   - cute little gift books (100 ways to say "I love you" naturally in pink
                                   - gushy romance novels (preferably with a dashing Kilt wearing Highlander snogging a swooning damsel)

- the Bakery     --> Show the love by gifting your loved ones with diabetes
                                 - sugar hearts (pink)
                                 - chocolate hearts (black chocolate with pink frosting)
                                 - Pralines (with sugary goodness inside, most likely also in pink)

- The Florist       --> Prove your love by buying roses that cost more this week, than any other week in the year
                                  - Roses (Varying from pink to red)
                                  - Violets (amazingly also available in pink, who would have thunk)
                                  - Flower arrangements (put together with love and pink ribbons *rolls eyes*)

And I just simply refuse to talk in detail about the other shops that jumped on the Valentines Day Wagon this year  (the shoe shop, the phone shop, the undertaker (yes really))

This day is just so unbelievably fake, even though I really love the general idea
 

Harry Potter and the deathly Hallows. The paper publicated  a story and I was weak. I couldn't help myself. I looked. The book was ruined.
But I pulled myself together to read it in spite of the disappointment, when I accidently came across an article in the internet where some
%&ç=/% *peep* wrote down everyone who died in the seventh book and on which page it happend. The Horror.
I only read the book so that I had read it. All the fun was gone.

Which of the seven deadly sins? Well, my limited knowledge of the English Language strikes again.

What the hell is Sloth?
Looking at this strange strange word  there are several images running through my mind.

--> Description of a very runny nose? (Go and clean that sloth)
--> Gambling machine in Las Vegas (Man, I lost another 100$ at the sloth)
--> Not exceptionaly bright member of the goth movement (SLow gOTH)

And how does one pronounce that word?

SloTT or Sloff? Or is it again one of these english words that are written one way and pronounced in another, completly mysterious way?

How am I supposed to answer that quesition if I don't understand the part of it? I didn't understand sloth when it came up in Supernatural and I can't remember a sin named sloth (the word gets sillier the more I write it) showing up in the movie Se7en.

		I will marry Dean Winchester.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Berne in our fabulous Apartment.
		We will have 5 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a Grey Toyota Yaris.
		I will spend my days as a Waitress, and live happily ever after.